Fannish 50: Post 5!
Jan. 30th, 2026 06:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
soricel"'What is your plan with these things anyway?' Adam asked.
Ronan smiled his lizard smile. 'Ramp. BMW. The goddamn moon.'
This was so like Ronan. His room inside Monmouth was filled with expensive toys, but, like a spoiled child, he ended up playing outside with sticks."
Narrative (what's going on when the quote appears?)
From chapter 20. Adam is stopping by Monmouth after sending Blue some flowers. Ronan and Noah are outside building some kind of ramp. The scene bothers Adam, mostly because it reminds him of how rich Ronan is--rich enough to go to Aglionby, to know that even if he fucks around and fucks up, as he has been, he'll still be pretty set for life...but not only that, rich enough to have free time to do frivolous things like build totally impractical ramps for his expensive car. A little later, we get a glimpse of the moment that catalyzed Adam's desire to go to Aglionby: watching an Aglionby kid--maybe Ronan, maybe not--breeze through the checkout line at the grocery store with a swipe of his card while Adam fought back tears because he didn't have enough money in his account to pay for the toothpaste and canned ravioli he was trying to buy.
Connections (what does this quote remind you of?)
My mind is going to Lord of the Flies, or Hatchet, or Into the Wild or something.
Contemplation (how does the quote relate to your own life?)
Setting aside the class dynamics for now, I have complicated feelings about Ronan. He exudes a certain kind of boy-energy that I tend to find pretty off-putting in other people and myself...though I love the moments where we see his softer, tenderer side. In this chapter he's started growing a beard, mostly to mock Gansey, who's trying to grow one but can't. I'm just picturing Ronan here, shaved head, a beard coming in, scary-looking tattoos all over his back and neck, lying on the ground under his car, building stuff with wood, spitting, cursing, talking tough, all that...I just feel such a resistance to it, though for different reasons than Adam does here. But at the same time, I have to admit that there's something about him that resonates with me too. This might be an overstatement, but I kind of feel like he might represent a kind of "shadow" version of myself, like an embodiment of lots of things that I tend to reject but which I still feel deep down might be part of me. I don't know, there's something really wild and primal and animal-like about Ronan and I feel like there's something like that inside of me too, somewhere...I just don't feel like I have a way of accessing it or expressing it.
Invitation (what does the quote call you to do?)
Yeah, I guess building on that, this quote makes me want to think about how to engage with a bit of that Ronan-like energy, which I do associate with certain aspects of my boyhood and which now feel really distant and buried. Like, what could "playing with sticks" look like for me? And how to do whatever that is without it feeling like the behavior of a "spoiled child" or worse? I don't know, my thoughts on this quote are kinda undeveloped.
Ronan smiled his lizard smile. 'Ramp. BMW. The goddamn moon.'
This was so like Ronan. His room inside Monmouth was filled with expensive toys, but, like a spoiled child, he ended up playing outside with sticks."
Narrative (what's going on when the quote appears?)
From chapter 20. Adam is stopping by Monmouth after sending Blue some flowers. Ronan and Noah are outside building some kind of ramp. The scene bothers Adam, mostly because it reminds him of how rich Ronan is--rich enough to go to Aglionby, to know that even if he fucks around and fucks up, as he has been, he'll still be pretty set for life...but not only that, rich enough to have free time to do frivolous things like build totally impractical ramps for his expensive car. A little later, we get a glimpse of the moment that catalyzed Adam's desire to go to Aglionby: watching an Aglionby kid--maybe Ronan, maybe not--breeze through the checkout line at the grocery store with a swipe of his card while Adam fought back tears because he didn't have enough money in his account to pay for the toothpaste and canned ravioli he was trying to buy.
Connections (what does this quote remind you of?)
My mind is going to Lord of the Flies, or Hatchet, or Into the Wild or something.
Contemplation (how does the quote relate to your own life?)
Setting aside the class dynamics for now, I have complicated feelings about Ronan. He exudes a certain kind of boy-energy that I tend to find pretty off-putting in other people and myself...though I love the moments where we see his softer, tenderer side. In this chapter he's started growing a beard, mostly to mock Gansey, who's trying to grow one but can't. I'm just picturing Ronan here, shaved head, a beard coming in, scary-looking tattoos all over his back and neck, lying on the ground under his car, building stuff with wood, spitting, cursing, talking tough, all that...I just feel such a resistance to it, though for different reasons than Adam does here. But at the same time, I have to admit that there's something about him that resonates with me too. This might be an overstatement, but I kind of feel like he might represent a kind of "shadow" version of myself, like an embodiment of lots of things that I tend to reject but which I still feel deep down might be part of me. I don't know, there's something really wild and primal and animal-like about Ronan and I feel like there's something like that inside of me too, somewhere...I just don't feel like I have a way of accessing it or expressing it.
Invitation (what does the quote call you to do?)
Yeah, I guess building on that, this quote makes me want to think about how to engage with a bit of that Ronan-like energy, which I do associate with certain aspects of my boyhood and which now feel really distant and buried. Like, what could "playing with sticks" look like for me? And how to do whatever that is without it feeling like the behavior of a "spoiled child" or worse? I don't know, my thoughts on this quote are kinda undeveloped.
